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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

You can't question his enthusiasm...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The World's Priciest Foods

From CNN Money today... The World's Priciest Foods

Here's the complete list:
  1. Gold Leaf
    • okay... here's the deal, if you're so rich and pompous that you have to put gold in/on your food, you're an ass. I can barely afford gold jewelry for my wife and you're putting it in your food... FUCK YOU!
  2. White Truffles
    • Seriously? It's a fucking mushroom, albeit a rare one, but it's still a mushroom.
  3. Caviar
    • This is the stuff that people eat to feel rich. It tastes like shit... everyone I have ever spoken to that has ever tried even supposedly "good" caviar has said that it tastes like the ass end of sewer rat. The people that eat caviar are the upper class equivalent of the middle class idiots that drink Starbucks coffee.
  4. Saffron
    • This one I can't say that I disagree with. Saffron adds crazy amounts of flavor to anything that you add it to. I don't ever use it simply because I can't afford it.
  5. Kobe Beef
    • Again... I don't disagree with this one. I remember the first time I tasted certified Angus beef. This is supposed to be even better and I love me some steak.
  6. Civet Coffee
    • Yet another reason I don't drink coffee. This is the stuff that any reasonable person would never drink after hearing how the beans are collected. I think I'd take Starbucks burnt coffee before I drink coffee made from beans that dropped out of a luwak's asshole. Washed or not...*gag*
  7. Vanilla
    • This is one of those foods that is heaven in bean form and worth every penny.
  8. Foie Gras
    • First off... this stuff is nasty. I've tried it and you'll never convince me otherwise. Second... given how it's made (force feeding ducks through a tube??) I hate to admit it, but I agree with PETA on this one. That's just cruel.
  9. Tiger Fish
    • I don't eat fish... and I sure as hell don't eat fish that is this expensive.

What ever happened to names like Mary or Jane...?

NZ judge backs girl over 'embarrassing' name

This poor little 9 year-old's moron parents named her "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii".

I am seriously having a hard time getting my head around this. Whatever happened to names like Mary, or Ann, or Jane? Seriously, folks, WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with people? If you're going to give your kid a goofy name you may as well just name them "Kick my ass and take my lunch money and while you're at it can you please give me an atomic wedgie everyday for the remainder of my life".

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are both nurses that work in pediatrics and you should hear the shit that people are naming their kids these days.


Single mother whose last name is Man. Had twin girls and named them Idonwanna and Idonneeda...

Parents from South East Asia with the last name of Dong insisted on naming their new baby boy Harry... even after having it explained to them what his name would mean to other children and that he would likely get picked on everyday.

A mother, late in her pregnancy went to go to the bathroom and when her baby, in her words "fell out", she exclaimed, "IT A MIRACLE!"... She named her new baby girl Amiracle.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving your child an exotic name, but COME ON! These people are just making shit up!

It's totally different if it's a real name, fits with your last name and/or reflects your heritage. For example I have two girls, Sophia and Molly. One reflects our Mediterranean lineage and the other represents our Irish lineage. My wife and I have decided that if we have another girl we'll likely be naming her something French in origin. Not that the names we ultimately chose were terribly odd, but I can tell you that we went through some strange ones getting to our final choices. I did have one rule when picking out names... If I could find a way to make fun of it within 5 minutes then we ruled it out. If it takes me 5 minutes, it will probably take some mean little brat about 30 seconds.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I want one of these SO badly!

Check out this story on CNN Money...
Tesla's Wild Ride

The car is amazing. I've seen videos of it spanking a Dodge Viper. Combine that with the fact that it is a hell of a lot greener than the Viper and you've have got one cool car.

Here is their official website...
Tesla Motors Inc.

0-60 in 3.9 seconds... *drool*

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Empire Starts To Crumble!

Starbucks identifies stores slated for closure

HA! Maybe they finally figured out that the world doesn't need a Starbucks on every fucking corner selling their overpriced, burnt, ass tasting coffee!


Fuck Britney Spears!

Britney Spears, former husband reach child custody deal

Who the fuck cares?!? It just amazes me that people actually care about this kind of shit. Give me real news... you know, shit that might actually have some sort of affect on my life. I'm just thankful that it wasn't higher on the list than anything about Iraq, Afganistan and the upcoming presidential election. Then I really would have lost my mind.

I counted and out of the 20 top headlines on CNN today 3 of them were stories about celebrities having done something that normal people do everyday...
  • Angelina Jolie has left the hospital with her newborn twins (woo-fuckin'-hoo)
    • Don't get me wrong... I like her, she understands the principle of giving of yourself when you are blessed with a state of plenty... but for fuck sake why should anyone in this world outside of her family and friends give two shits?
  • Apparently Ed McMahon is suing someone over a neck injury... HEEEEEEEEREEEEES a NEW FLASH for you... who fucking cares!

Please Leave Your Big Bag o' Bullshit at the Door

Here it is! The official DEADSMILEY.COM blog. A place where I can come to vent my frustrations, ramble on about the things I find interesting and most importantly say all the shit that I know would get me in trouble if I spouted it out in public.

For example...
  • Fuck religion
  • Fuck your iPhone
  • Fuck your Hummer
  • Fuck your stupid obsession with celebrities
  • Fuck Starbucks... and I'm really close to saying Fuck Dunkin' Donuts but their breakfast sandwiches are SO good
  • Fuck your favorite sport/'s a fucking GAME get over it!
More "fucks" to follow...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


I drove by this sign this morning and I had to take a picture. I'm not sure exactly what "Tingley Rubbers" refers to, but I'm pretty sure it's not what I hope it is.